Returning to Being A Stay At Home Mom

April 28, 2010

I have dropped out of the production. It wasn’t right. It didn’t work for anyone. I found myself obsessively worrying about Mishy during rehearsals and when I got home, cooking – I suddenly really wanted to cook for her from scratch – to provide her with love through my food – to show her I was still there for her, though I wasn’t physically as much. Rehearsals were chugging along and I wasn’t doing work that I was proud of. My focus was split. I worried if she was eating, drinking, sleeping, playing, being supported emotionally when she was missing me. How her brain was being effected because her naps were all over the place. How she was being effected emotionally because I wasn’t there for her since I was the one constant caregiver throughout her life.  And it seemed to me, Babba, her father, was overwhelmed as well since he has a lot on his plate right now. I knew I made the right decision for all of us when I got home the day I quit the production and found the gas stove on. It had been kept on for 6 hours. Luckily, there was nothing on the stove and the fire was still lit…

I know there will be a time when it is right for all of us for me to return to being creative on a public level and there will be more suitable situations and projects which will really fill my soul. In the meantime, I am perfectly content to being creative with Mishy and perhaps starting to research a play I have in my mind…

One Response to “Returning to Being A Stay At Home Mom”

  1. Ali P. Says:

    Good for you. I think our creative minds evolve and grow as our children do, they must, at least I hope so.

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